yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
