This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
