I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
