I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
