Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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