Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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