Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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