My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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