Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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