this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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