I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
