Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
