No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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