No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
