Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
