Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
