Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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