did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
