Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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