Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
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They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
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I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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