Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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