I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
