I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
