what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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