You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
