Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
