i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
only you would photoshop your dick
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
