laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
porn star boner night. come get it.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
