just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize