i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
