thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
