just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.