so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
