The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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