Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.