Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
the day after is always just damage control
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
