there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again