The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
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Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
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Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.