This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize