She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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