1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
