All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
