It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
