apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
