Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
