Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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