Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
