when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
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I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
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Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
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