is your mom at the bar?
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
