She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Bring me that man meat
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
