I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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