is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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