everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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