My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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