He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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