Don't you send me to vm
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
