I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
