idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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