So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
