Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
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I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
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I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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