if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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