There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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