you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
