I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
