plz talk dirty to me
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
