I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
