Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
