using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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